Okay So I lost a kilo and then gained half back.
I’m not too mad mainly because I have myself to blame. I could’ve cut down on a lot more. But I’m getting there.
As an update:
One of the days this week, I got stared at in the gym by this man. I don’t know if he just didn’t like the fact that i was a fat person trying to get back a healthier life or if he just was an asshole who wanted to make me uncomfortable. Well, he did at first. I readjusted all my gym clothes to ensure my stomach or any of my “fat areas”weren’t prominent because I was sweating. Then I realised, I really shouldn’t be bothered by it. This insecurity is what feeds my motivation to lose weight. So instead of trying to making myself less noticeable, I changed my tactic and stared him down too. Got my game face on and looked at him in my fiercest possible stare while I ran on the treadmill next to him. And to make a point, after I was done. I stayed an extra minute just standing there, and glaring back.
I don’t know if I over reacted. But the last thing a person like me needs is someone to offer the slightest reason for me to stop going to the gym. People who are insecure about their bodies (Both fat and thin people) like I am, are very sensitive to how other people perceive their bodies. And it is definitely not the easiest thing to stop caring about that. I could say I love my body because it’s mine. And I wouldn’t be lying. But I still have my insecurities. It’s like how you would love someone so much but there are things that do irk you about him or her… bad example but I hope you understand.
Anyway, I think I feel a lot empowered when I face situations like this and don’t let it get to me. I was back in the gym the next day- same time- and it felt great knowing that no one could stop me from what I wanted to achieve. I think that’s what is important really. To understand that if you want change, you’re gonna have to get rolling and if you think it, no one can stop you.
That said, I am having trouble eating healthy. I have my salads and my protein and healthy carbs. But I also did have a couple of cheat snacks this week and almost went to McDonald’s. (I don’t like McDonald’s actually. But it was a weird situation.).
I’ll keep you posted on how things go from here. I might drop another blog post about the emotional part of this whole journey tomorrow. That will be more for myself than anything really.
If you have any tips and advice about weight loss and you’re a nice person, please feel free to share them in the comments. Much appreciated.